Even though we do not have a military base in our community, military families are in our own backyards. Every day, you may encounter a member of a Kansas military family. This person could be a member of your church, a student in your school, or your neighbor.
When National Guard, Army Reserve and other military parents living in civilian communities are mobilized, their children suddenly have unique needs for special support and services.
For many, their lives feel turned upside down! Many of their usual support systems may no longer be adequate.
During deployment, children often experience negative changes. Many of these changes are normal. However, it is important to know how to deal with these changes and know how to support these family members left behind.
Infants must be held and actively nurtured in order to thrive. When one parent is away, there are added responsibilities for the parent remaining at home. If a primary caregiver becomes significantly depressed, then the infant will be at risk for apathy, refusal to eat and even weight loss. Early intervention becomes critical to prevent undue harm or neglect.
Toddlers will generally take their cue from their primary caregiver. If the primary caregiver is coping well, toddlers and infants will tend to do well also. If the "non-deploying" parent is not coping well, then toddlers may become tearful, throwing tantrums or may develop sleep disturbances. They will usually respond to increased attention, holding and hugs.
Preschoolers, ages 3 - 6, may regress in their skills and seem more clingy when deployment makes changes for their family. Children of this age may have difficulty with potty training, revert back to 'baby talk', or may refuse to sleep alone. Caregivers will need to reassure them with extra attention and physical closeness. In addition, it is important to avoid changing family routines. Answers to questions about deployment should be brief and matter-of-fact which will help to contain an overactive imagination.
School age children, 6 -12, may become aggressive and act out their feelings. They will be quite aware that the deployed parent will be missing many of the key events in their life. During this time, they will need someone they can visit with about their feelings and again it will be important to keep routines as normal as possible.
Teenagers may be irritable, rebellious or participate in other attention-getting behaviors. Although they may deny problems and worries, it is extremely important for family members to stay engaged and be available to talk out their concerns. Sports and social activities should be encouraged to give normal structure to their life. Additional responsibility in the family, appropriate to their emotional maturity, will make them feel important and needed.
