In case you haven’t heard, the event of the year (possibly even the decade, depending on your level of obsession) takes place on midnight of Friday, November 20. New Moon, the second in a series of four movies based on the Twilight series by Stephanie Myers, will be released in theaters nationwide.
Being a Twilight fan myself (but not as dedicated as my coworkers by any means), I’m looking forward to the new movie. But I, among many others, had a traumatic experience at the midnight release of Twilight last year. Overly-enthusiastic cheers upon Edward’s repeated entrances on the screen, incessant whispers about his sexiness (uttered by both guys and girls, for you information), and mesmerized sighs following his every line made the experience less than pleasant. You know who you are — so listen up. I’m going to give you a few tips on how to watch the upcoming movie properly.
First of all, if you’re attending the midnight show, everyone knows you’re a dedicated fan. Many of you are teetering on the edge of obsession, so there’s no need to prove your eagerness to others around you. We know you’re excited because we are, too. We wouldn’t put up with you if we didn’t understand to some degree.
Second, respect your neighbors in the theater. Be as enthusiastic as you want, just don’t torture them with it. If you start to cheer, giggle, or whisper, you and those around you will miss what Edward or Jacob is saying, and I know you don’t want that. Feel free to cry silently with joy or drool with pleasure. Just be sure to bring a tissue and a cup so your neighbors aren’t given the burdensome task of taking care of you. (Usually, people in that type of emotional state aren’t allowed to go anywhere without a designated caregiver, but events like midnight releases merit an exception.)
Third, don’t spoil anything for your friends and associates who haven’t seen the movie. Just because an insane amount of people will attend the midnight show doesn’t mean that all of your friends will. Don’t update your Facebook status or Tweet about the details of your favorite scenes. If you liked it, great. If you hated it, great. But that’s all we want to know.
Last of all, let us all try to be friends. Everyone attending is excited about the movie and we want to enjoy it, so refrain from fighting over whether Team Jacob or Team Edward is the best. (But I promise not to ask questions if those sporting “Team Jacob” merchandise exit the theater with a bloody nose.) So have fun, enjoy yourself, and be sure to let others around you enjoy themselves, too.
Oh, and one more thing, my fellow fans — please continue to call yourselves “Twilighters.” “New Mooners” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
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In case you haven’t heard, the event of the year (possibly even the decade, depending on your level of obsession) takes place on midnight of Friday, November 20. New Moon, the second in a series of four movies based on the Twilight series by Stephanie Myers, will be released in theaters nationwide.
Being a Twilight fan myself (but not as dedicated as my coworkers by any means), I’m looking forward to the new movie. But I, among many others, had a traumatic experience at the midnight release of Twilight last year. Overly-enthusiastic cheers upon Edward’s repeated entrances on the screen, incessant whispers about his sexiness (uttered by both guys and girls, for you information), and mesmerized sighs following his every line made the experience less than pleasant. You know who you are — so listen up. I’m going to give you a few tips on how to watch the upcoming movie properly.
First of all, if you’re attending the midnight show, everyone knows you’re a dedicated fan. Many of you are teetering on the edge of obsession, so there’s no need to prove your eagerness to others around you. We know you’re excited because we are, too. We wouldn’t put up with you if we didn’t understand to some degree.
Second, respect your neighbors in the theater. Be as enthusiastic as you want, just don’t torture them with it. If you start to cheer, giggle, or whisper, you and those around you will miss what Edward or Jacob is saying, and I know you don’t want that. Feel free to cry silently with joy or drool with pleasure. Just be sure to bring a tissue and a cup so your neighbors aren’t given the burdensome task of taking care of you. (Usually, people in that type of emotional state aren’t allowed to go anywhere without a designated caregiver, but events like midnight releases merit an exception.)
Third, don’t spoil anything for your friends and associates who haven’t seen the movie. Just because an insane amount of people will attend the midnight show doesn’t mean that all of your friends will. Don’t update your Facebook status or Tweet about the details of your favorite scenes. If you liked it, great. If you hated it, great. But that’s all we want to know.
Last of all, let us all try to be friends. Everyone attending is excited about the movie and we want to enjoy it, so refrain from fighting over whether Team Jacob or Team Edward is the best. (But I promise not to ask questions if those sporting “Team Jacob” merchandise exit the theater with a bloody nose.) So have fun, enjoy yourself, and be sure to let others around you enjoy themselves, too.
Oh, and one more thing, my fellow fans — please continue to call yourselves “Twilighters.” “New Mooners” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
