Bewildered was the woman whose husband failed to pick up her medication when he picked up his own, even though she’d been doing it for seven years.
No wonder she was bewildered. I suggested several possible reasons for his behavior, everything from him wanting her dead to being distracted by his girlfriend’s pregnancy.
Here’s what you had to say.
CHAZ: He was thinking that every time his wife is running low on pills, she calls the doctor. He was thinking that if she needed pills, then she must have called the doctor. If she didn’t, then she didn’t need pills.
(CHAZ: Nice try. They both ran out of pills at the same time every month!)
RICH: I would say he was having a senior moment or wasn’t thinking or was distracted because he owes the mob money. Any time I mess up, any or all three could apply!
WILL: Wow! No offense, Cheryl, but what a typical female response! News flash: Women go through menopause, and men go through changes, too!
There’s got to be at least one male physician out there who can come up with a medical name — something that’s acceptable and catchy — to justify our changing behavior.
(How about male pattern obliviousness?)
ALICIA: Bewildered’s husband was thinking his usual selfish, self-centered thoughts, which he had apparently succeeded in hiding (partially or completely) from his wife before. Or he’s such a stick in the mud — and maybe not too bright — that when his usual routine was altered slightly, he didn’t know what to do, so he did the unthinkable.
EVE: He probably had someone else call who didn’t know that Bewildered usually ordered pills for both of them.
(This would be a great excuse if Bewildered’s husband had a secretary who made his calls. He doesn’t.)
DELTA: He wasn’t thinking anything. Men are not natural caregivers. That’s why so few of them are moms! Several years ago, I was laid up after surgery. My husband cared for me for several days, doing whatever I asked of him.
On the first day he went back to work, he arrived home late with takeout for dinner. No food for me. All I’d eaten that day was a granola bar because that was all the food he’d left within my reach. He was stupefied by how incredibly hurt and angry I was.
My husband is the kindest, most generous and most patient person I know. He is a true blessing to me in many ways. If I asked him to jump off the roof for me, he would gladly do it. It just would never occur to him to do it without being asked.
Most guys aren’t malicious jerks. They just aren’t wired to think of others first. Instead of getting hurt by that kind of behavior, I chalk it up to cluelessness and remember to state my needs more clearly next time!
(DELTA: I’m in awe of you! You’re the most understanding woman I’ve ever heard of! Most women would have slugged the guy over the head with whatever they could reach!)
— Got a problem? Send it, along with your questions and rants to email@example.com. And check out my e-book, “Dear Cheryl: Advice from Tales from the Front.”