Dear Dr. June: My buddy and I met up for a few drinks and laughs. I’m in a serious relationship but he is divorced and needs to start dating again. This is why I get him out and try to be his wingman a couple times a month. It’s not that he doesn’t have the looks and all. Women approach him all the time, but he looks the other way especially if they are very pretty and nicely dressed. I don’t get it. Do you think he’s intimidated by women that look like they’re high maintenance?
— FW, Daytona Beach, Florida
Dear FW: There are a few thoughts that come to mind. You may think he should start dating; however, that does not mean he should start dating. He can put on his own big boy pants and decide if it’s time. My other thought is his ex-wife. Was she really pretty and high maintenance?
If so, maybe he wants something different. Maybe he does just see them as high maintenance and does not want to deal with that. Then there is the question about intimidation based on a woman’s appearance. Just because she looks a certain way when you see her out does not define all of who she is. Still, to answer your question, some men are intimidated while others are not. In regards to your friend, I just think he wants to be left alone.
Is love enough?
Dear Dr. June: My question is simple. I just want to know if love is enough for someone to stay with a person that doesn’t put the same amount of effort into the relationship as the other person.
— Toni, Lakeland, Florida
Dear Toni: That depends on the couple. If the person is satisfied in the relationship understanding that the other person offers love but is not giving as much effort then yes. Some individuals care they just don’t have in them or may not know what to do. Now, if this is a source of contention within the relationship then it won’t work out as a comfortable relationship due to missing the give and take component. At times one person gives a little more then the roles reverse and the other gives more. If one is always giving without reciprocating, love is not enough because eventually the rift will become too large to repair.
— Dr. June Hall is an author and motivational coach who has reached millions through her advice column and public speaking engagements. If you have questions for Dr. June, contact her at www.junehall.com.